Episode 182
The school kids were intending to return from badger woods and own up to Gavin’s brutal assault on Simon the bully, when they were interrupted by the screams of a cornered Stacy who seems to being menaced by a Dog headed humanoid.
This is not normal in Grimsby. Even in the 80’s.
Episode 181 Trigger warning: Body horror!
It’s back to the time of the Roman Legions now as the elite Fortes Falcones take just one last mission before they all get to retire finally.
Led by the heroic Tillius Corvus they head over in to Lydia where the hideous Valerian Plague is claiming lives amid rumours of satanic cults and rebellion. Desperate to provent the spread of the plague the Magister Militum sends in the best of the best.
Episode 180
In the 1960’s while the Boulder and Mahlaren loops were being built the British Government thought they would get in on the action as well and built a small (10KM) loop under the North East of England and the North Sea Bed. As the North East doesn’t really exist to Westminster it was the perfect place to site their Research centre, which absolutely does not do any Military Research in the marshes out towards Donna Nook.
Absolutely.
None what-so-ever…
Episode 179
Trapped in a zombie infested Stagheyn, still none the wiser about exactly what is going on the Adventurers decide to start looking. The issue is that they are fast running out of water, and with the zombies wandering all over the Town and the wells not being safe they are starting to worry.
What about the Wererats, why are they here? Why are they dumping wool bales over the wall into the river?
Episode 178
Finding Dr Belenzada hard at work on an amalgam of a Man, a Gorilla, and a pig the Investigators find that although Belenzada is clearly an unhinged madman it could be that Selena is the true monster here!
As Belenzada slashes at Jazmina, Tiny Tim Boxley leaps forward crowbar in hand to try and defend her.
However where has Clarissa has gotten to? What is Selena actually seeing?
Episode 177
We are actually all away this weekend as it is Mawdrigen and Mrs Mawdrigen’s Wedding!
Having just alerted everyone in Stagheyn that they have arrived the Adventurers decide to close the stable door after they have burned the stable down and stealth into the city.
As you might imagine this does not go well especially with an intransigent Draught Oxen called Tim!
Episode 176
We got a comment from Lovely Tea Teas! Find them Here
The Adventurers having driven off the Land Shark (renamed the Land Whale by the somewhat flatter Bard) and seeing the Castle of Stagheyn in the distance they take a rest and then plan their attack.
The also get to the bottom of the question, where is the Stag River? It turns out someone has dammed it and flooded the farmland outside the town walls, exactly what you need with a Waterborne disease surely…
Episode 175
The bodies are starting to mount up, Dr Moric, the Journalist, and the Journalist’s lover have all been found dead and the Investigators have begun tracking down the last few clues. They have found Dr Moric’s journal, several books detailing various things including the Mims-Sahis, last heard of when they read of the end of Sedefkar at the hands of the crusaders when he lost the dagger to Andres De La Trois.
They have also seen Dr Belenzada and via subterfuge have found out about his secret laboratory out in the woods. Not willing to wait until they have their morning breakfast meeting with the good Doctor they set off to take a look.
Episode 174
Faced with the return of the White Death the characters begin to procure the items they need for the mission, but also take the time to visit the Temple of Vielle and receive a rather cryptic blessing.
Then it’s off to Granny Hylanax for the disease curing potions before finally setting off.
Episode 173
CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR Bioshock Infinite, Mass Effect the original trilogy, and Andromeda.
Bloodied, Allegory, and Ghostlyn join forces to enact a Talky one from Deepest California where the temperature is so warm that even Cacti are giving up the ghost and wilting. Please note it is a little bit echoey, but quite good sound quality for being recorded on a phone! First they review some Iced Teas which are standard issue for survivng the Mojave Desert, especially when you have turned off the air con to get better sound.
Then they get onto gaming! Ghostlyn has recently completely the Mass Effect Series so they went through this and provided their feed back on the game series.
After this they look into World of Darkness 20!
Please let us know what you think either here, at thecultofteaanddice@gmail.com, or @Cultteaanddice if you want to give us any Feedback, please also feel free to leave us reviews on Itunes
This Podcast is Explicit and contains Politics!, Poop-Tea, Mass-Effect, Thumbs up doesn’t work on radio, anti-climatic endings annoy us, Dragon Age Origins Pacing issues, Mass effect relationship woes, Gay Male Krogan?, Permanent catatonia face, Biotic Space Cancer, Gamergate being dicks again, Giant books with bad spines, Toxic people, and New Newness!
Episode 172
With Bloodied being over in the USA he took the time to run some Dresden files for Allegory and Ghostlyn! So join us now as a Shapeshifter who can turn into a Racoon and is beholden to the Morrigan, and a Shapeshifter who can turn into a dog and is beholden to… errr no one unless you check his Identity Chip engage in some shenanigans to save…
The Owlman of Cornwall!
Continue reading
Episode 171
Welcome back to a very British Apocalypse, as Archive and Hardwick try to escape to the town of Reading to the Promised land of Sonning. We of course get off to a typically on track start, getting very distracted by the weird Eldritch chanting of the Children outside (who were roaring and squeaking).
Once that is dealt with they begin trying to deal with the fact that Archive, as part of her sneaking past the Jolly Anglers Fishermen Pub, by accident instead fired her Fire Extinguisher in through the window.
Continue reading
Episode 170
For the first time in the Podcast we dive into Dungeons and Dragons, and into the world of Kirion. A damaged world that fought of the influence of the Evil Gods long ago, and then when the Dragonkin returned from their magical exile it burned in the fires of their Bound Dragons. Their control of the Dragons was broken by the Frost Elves however and for the last 500 years the world has been in a new Age, the Sword Age.
Called to a meeting in the middle of the night by a Prince of the realm (Alden the ‘All Business’ Prince) Gilguin the Firbolg and Stone-Skims-Water the Tabaxi Paladin find themselves thrust into a dangerous situation involving a magical Disease up in the north of the Country of Barrowdale.
Episode 169
TRIGGER WARNING – This is a story of horror and danger in a world very very similar to our own. If that sort of thing would bother you, maybe try one of the other games instead! Please note This is ALL A WORK OF FICTION! We aren’t suggesting having a apocalyptic baby metal concert!
With Archive and Hardwick having decided that staying in Mawdrigen’s house was making their Britishness Uncomfortable they decided to leave. They have however found both a scary bridge and Il Porcupino! Archive is however more worried about the shape of the bridge!
It’s a Special Episode!
With the start of the Cthulhu Wars Onslaught 3 Kickstarter Available Here
the chaps over at Gamerati asked if we would like to talk about Cthulhu Wars again and we answered with a resounding yes!
Cthulhu Wars is a game of asymmetric factions battling over a destroyed world. Join us as we go through the previous releases for the game and then go on to the items appearing in Onslaught 3! Hope you enjoy our thoughts on the game.
I strongly suggest backing this game if you can afford to!
Episode 168
TRIGGER WARNING – This is a story of horror and danger in a world very very similar to our own. If that sort of thing would bother you, maybe try one of the other games instead! Please note This is ALL A WORK OF FICTION! We aren’t suggesting having a apocalyptic baby metal concert!
We finally return to End of the World and attempt another play through of An Apocalypse In Yellow which we last attempted back in episode 98 (Here).
This time we have Hardwick and Archive stepping in as the victims of this particular apocalypse as they try and work out whether its ok to stay in Mawdrigen’s house while he’s not there, what tea they are going to have while they wait, and why why WHY the Decor has changed.
Episode 167
Knowing that they need a key from a Roman Bath and to find some warehouse the investigators go searching for the remains of Dr Moric’s dig site.
Chester and Tim also go Mouflon hunting and make a terrible discovery.
Episode 166
After a brief unpaid advert for Sushi Mania (Here) and discussing Wet Koala’s (go google it it’s terrifying) we launch back into the anarchic investigations in Vinkovici.
Having gotten their fill of Billiards, last session they got started on every single clue in the town. Now however their initial burst of threads has turned into several places they need to check.
The first is the Journalists house, Fennic hasn’t been seen for a few days and the Investigators fear for her safety.
Episode 165
We discuss our ambivalence toward Green Tea Chocolates before Allegory reviews a tea for us from across the pond!
As we failed utterly to interrogate the right person, and then failed to find anything in the Bingo hall we decided to try and go and deal with the Cults lock-up-garage.
Violence is applied in short controlled bursts, the recovery position is deployed, Magic is brought into effect, We play the most dangerous game of the floor is lava. With any luck they might be able to find the Cauldron before swarms of Golden Dawn descend upon them!
Episode 164
Recorded just before the Election we were feeling a bit political at the beginning but then we launch straight into a million different threads of the investigation!
With Chester Fillman joining them they have some much needed muscle as they decide to go and take a look at the Tomb to see what may have been lost. With burglars kits and other such things. There they make a startling discovery the Mims Sahis, the dagger of Sedefkar was possibly in the tomb!
Episode 163
We finally try a tea designed to make us sleep, although we do also note it includes Lemongrass which makes you randy!
Then we launch into preparing for our meeting at the Tomb of Claude Velon in Highgate Cemetary. This plan involves, robes, black light, a giant glowing dog, and Mawdrigen getting properly fucked off with his dice.
Episode 162
We try a tea which is “alright”, and discuss vitamin B12.
Then we launch into the session, finding the investigators having escaped from the gun fight at the Train Station with Jazmina Moric the daughter of the Professor Moric that has found a Tomb adorned with a statue of Renault of Flanders.
In the taxi she explains that her father is missing and thanks them (especially Tim) for their help with the potential kidnappers. They head towards the hunting lodge that the Wagon – Lits company is intending to put them up in.
Episode 161
Still looking for a Cauldron belonging to a bunch of Faeries and following the clues from the dead Antiques dealer the characters get a promising lead.
Sort of.
However it becomes obvious that we don’t really know what we are doing as we flounder wildly trying to find out what the hell is going on. Also why did Nuada choose US for the job…
Please note Cult Central was FILLED with paint fumes hence an anarchic session
Continue reading
Episode 160
After a brief Champagne Breakfast they find themselves arriving in Vinkovinci by means of an anarchist (or comunist, or maybe croatian) bomb on the points the Investigators are immediately thrown into a dangerous situation. The Serbian Military Police think they are probably anarchists, or maybe Communists. Then they come to the aid of a damsel in distress with dangerous effect.
Also we plug the SideQuest Adventure Decks by Inkwell Ideas (available HERE) which have a few seeds written by Mawdrigen!
Episode 159
As Mawdrigen had three hours of sleep, hadn’t read the next chapter, and had just realised we’d reached the halfway point and two and a half YEARS (gods these players are slow).
So we actually decided to do a bit of a retrospective on the first half of the campaign, including talking through the campaign that came directly before we started doing the Podcast “Blood of the Father”.
Episode 158
We’re back in the Dresdenverse and this time we aren’t jumping all over the place! Well we are still jumping about, but that’s actually us not the recording. Having realised that the Cauldron of the Daghda was probably swiped from the dead Antiques Dealer by someone who could travel through the Nevernever.
So off we go to Dulwich village, where the more non-human of us immediately choose the most non-human methods to investigate.
Episode 157
*tongue trauma warning*
Trapped in what they assume is Dream Zagreb they continue pursuing the “Skull Stroking Weirdo” in the hope of learning what he knows about the Sedefkar Simulacrum.
In a weird city.
A very very weird city, but they might get some help at least!
Join us now as they wander through the confused, wild, and terrifying City of Bells and Towers
Hi there guys!
Just a bit of information for you all, I’ve recently been doing some writing for a project which has now gone live! So I thought I’d let you know so if you fancied taking a look you could.
The project in question is a set of Adventure Seed card decks (available Here) for when your inspiration has run a little dry, or even if your players take a hard left rather than engage with the adventure hooks you have placed for them! These cards contain an adventure premise, a couple of ways to get the players involved, a few encounter ideas and even a couple of ways you can extend the adventure out into a longer narrative.
So if you want a stack of quick adventure ideas give them a look, you may even end up playing one of the ones I wrote!
Episode 156b
Here is the episode! Please note it jumps about a lot at the beginning.
Listen as we in small distinct chunks find out the Tuatha want us to do stuff. Allegory wows us with innuendo about his sweet creamy drink (it’s Bigelow and creamy…). We drink Indian tea mixed in Cornwall.
Then Mark goes to talk to a Warden and then the adventure begins! In Chunks! Jumpy Chunks!
From the point that we get to Kew Gardens however the episode is intact.
Episode 156a
So for the first time in several years of us podcasting we had an Audacity fail, and it decided to shove just over 1/3 of episode 156 down the memory hole and lose it forever. While I attempted to get it back I was unsuccessful although the second half of the episode is actually fully intact. Instead I’m going to put up the slightly jumpy 156b up and here in 156a I and Bloodied go through and tell you what actually happened.
If you want to listen to what we have (unintentional comedy intact) please do, for those who don’t want to please skip episode 156b.
Please let us know what you think either here, at thecultofteaanddice@gmail.com, or @Cultteaanddice if you want to give us any Feedback, please also feel free to leave us reviews on Itunes
This Podcast is Explicit
Episode 155
IT having all “gone to buggery” in the words of Tiny Tim Boxley the Investigators flee the scene taking the dodgy amulet with them. Some mourning is done for Oldstaff, Warfestache, and Otto the Bystander before fleeing back to Trieste.
Luckily it seems someone has appeared to help them, but can they be trusted?
Finally they head back to the Orient Express hoping for a nice rest and chance to recuperate… maybe with a lovely glass of wine.
What could go wrong. Continue reading
Episode 154
Well the students know what they need to know. They head down to the Curator to receive the sword Mánbelthor (faerie-basher), the magical lucky ring, and the lethal Pepper Spray.
It can’t be helped, they have stalled as much as possible there nothing to do but go and kill a furry, sorry Faerie!
Sadly we had some sound issues again, however I’ve cleaned it up as much as I can. Unfortunately it seems to have refused to record from the lovely microphones we had set up and instead used the laptops internal microphone!
Which is shit. Continue reading
Episode 153
Mawdrigen’s accent continues to make it sound like we are trying to kill furries but it’s actually Faeries we are hunting. You know the Iron-Phobic Hedge-living baby-snatchers.
Anyway, having performed a séance and had a word with Paul Lane about his brother we realised that actually it was Faeries, and immediately began to try and work out the best plan. Having more Iron is definitely the best plan! To the Antiques Store!
Episode 152
Trapped in the darkness and surrounded by cultists the Investigators engage in a tense standoff. The Cultists want the Medallion, the Investigators don’t want to give it to them, and Otto the German Tourist is really very confused by what is going on. Gory death could be on the cards for everyone!
Episode 151
With the Corpse of the Turkish Business Man finally deposited into the canal, and Tiny Tim Boxleys brain still mostly in his head, the Investigators finally have finally located this Medallion that everyone seems to be interested in. They have found a Villa on the Via Marco Polo and it has a frieze of Bacchus just like Clarissa’s bruise over the door. Hopefully the amulet is inside and having this this will allow them to do a deal with the Things in the nearby caves for the piece of the simulacrum that the Investigators now fear they have. The door is padlocked and chained up, but with a master thief in their midst they should be able to get through that pretty easier.
Episode 150
It’s the 150th episode, and we’re all drinking (so much, so very very much) so this cannot possibly go wrong!
Join us as Bloodied leads us as secret special agent zombies, some recently recruited (you know in 2016 the most murderous of years), and some of shall we say … greater vintage as we attempt to ensure that the world doesn’t end.
Will Mr Higgins and the others be able to save the world? Or will the evil cultists be able to raise Rhyleh? Who IS their leader, why should we care? Where’s the Rum?
This is the sloppiest of episodes.
Oh and some very… fine celebrity impersonations.
Due to quietness (yes Quietness!) there may be slight sound issues on this one)
Please let us know what you think either here, at thecultofteaanddice@gmail.com, or @Cultteaanddice if you want to give us any Feedback, please also feel free to leave us reviews on Itunes
This Podcast is Explicit and contains Archive, a demon coming in a teapot, TMI, SO MUCH INFORMATION, Celebrity Zombies, buttchugging cocaine, Cthulhu on the supreme court, bruce fucking willis, Twiddling Knobs, Auntie Mabel the notable lush, Jinsy, british tv show nostalgia, the trauma of the animals of farthing wood, octupus crotch, bloodied reveals a deep and abiding hatred of pudsey the bear, the wilhelm screen
Episode 149
Faced with the revelation that Steve wasn’t on something when he said there were Pod People (well he was but he wasn’t delusional), they decide to follow up on the clue of the abandoned house presented to them by Professor North.
Armed with a narrative clip and the worlds spiciest glasses cleaner spray, Valerie, Steve, and Wilberforce first talk to the letting agents and then get ready to prepare the ground for a break in later.
However will they be able to work out what is going on, what caused the fire that supposedly killed the two brothers, and whether the Pod People are On To Them.
Episode 148
With Clarissa suffering a bout of indefinite insanity she takes to writing the Testament of Doctor Jesus, the others start trying to work out how to sort out the tiny issue of the Dead Body.
Will they use Stage Magic? Or will it be the hacksaws and acid?
I’m not certain but they may have been side-tracked, what about the Sedefkar Simulacrum?
Episode 147
Archive sits in the Scary Chair again and takes us back to Goatswood University. Psychedelic Steve and Valerie the Nerd are joined by… Wilberforce the campaigner as we draw him into the machinations of Professor Greeneacre and her Pod People.
Probably. Or it could just be that the drugs are making Steve Paranoid maybe?
Warning, the words “Pod People” is used something like a billion times in this episode.
Please let us know what you think either here, at thecultofteaanddice@gmail.com, or @Cultteaanddice if you want to give us any Feedback, please also feel free to leave us reviews on Itunes
This Podcast is Explicit and contains Archive, the tastiest Rhubarb Tea EVER, Drugs lots of Drugs, Goatswood, Pencil Molestation, The Crunch (and the coming to it), Trevor, repeated drugs references, Outrage, vicious pen movement, HUMPS, Hot Fuzz, “I’m going to need some crack”, letting agents, and peril
Episode 146
PLEASE SKIP to 11 minutes to miss out the Recap.
Finally back to the shadowrunning! The Shadowrunners almost have a plan, at least the beginnings of a plan, or the vague whisperings of a plan. It involves hijacking a catering truck, getting inside the generator compound, and then…
Well… doing something presumably. Continue reading
Episode 145
At the house of David Furlong the now very deceased hitman/murderer/mind fiddling victim and having decided not to sacrifice a pizza boy the characters decide to get inside and see what they can see. Kyle has Olivia, magic, and an unhealthy interest in leylines.
Trigger Warning for: Severe Eye Trauma
Episode 144
Still in Trieste, and aware that dark forces are moving about them the Investigators Seek to find out where the Sedefkar Simulacrum piece could have gone to, what is the connection with Winckelmann and why they are all having terrible nightmares.
Episode 143
What to do when someone has killed your favourite Barista, and kidnapped your tea shop owner. Well you call in the police, although in this case its the Special Police whose first port of call is to talk to the victim.
Episode 142
The Investigators are in Trieste supposedly to look up Johann Winckelmann who should be able to help them in locating the next part of the Sedefkar Simulacrum.
Episode 141
It should have been easy. Go to London’s Premier Tea and Occult Bookshop, which also just happens to be Accorded Neutral Territory and open up. However for Zoe (aka Rude Girl) its all going to get a little bit complicated. Carlos has left the door open, and this IT Guy has the social skills of a rock.
Episode 140
As the investigators finally reach Trieste they try to do as instructed and look up Professor Smiths friend Johan Winkelmann but wil they find him? What is going on with Warfestache? Will they be able to locate the missing part of the Sedefkar Simulacrum which is rumoured to lie somewhere near here.
Episode 139
(n.b. We had some sound issues again the buzz has been removed but there were a lot of sections that were damaged or very quiet. Please accept our apologies, we will attempt to address these issues going forward.)
So in an episode that starts with us all being quite antagonistic (we love our listeners really but pain makes us cranky!), we continue on with the adventure of the Goodest Goose. Joining our heroes as they sit down for dinner with Lord Aschaffenburg, Henrik, the sleepy servants, the wounded guards, the dodgy doctor, the bandaged weirdo, the librarian, and of course the Burly Dog Perv ™ we wait to see if the Goose is actually good.
The process of elimation has been set up, everyone is eating something different (Goose alone, Goose and vegetables, Venison alone, and Venison with vegetables) but they haven’t taken account of the hardyness of the Dwarf (mmm more Scorpion Venom please) or the appetite of the halfling (Thirds pleaszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz).
What could go wrong?
What indeed….
Download the File
Please let us know what you think either here, at thecultofteaanddice@gmail.com, or @Cultteaanddice if you want to give us any Feedback, please also feel free to leave us reviews on Itunes
The Music is Constancy Part Two by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
License
This Podcast is Explicit and contains Archive, Mawdrigen being quite testy due to pain, Burly Dog Perv, Catastrophic Knee Trauma, Goose, Venison, Confusion (lots of it), Knocking people the Fuck Out with a teacup, Shooting bells, and the quietest Bloodied there has ever been.
Episode 138
Well it’s finally happened as we have finally done another Talky One! In this episode we lament the loss of the FFG/GW partnership and discuss the terrible havoc this will wreak on some of our favourite games, which may disappear entirely in the near future (possibly even pulped :(). We briefly discuss the fact that Tabletop (Wil Wheaton’s excellent tabletop gaming show) is not really out until 2017.
We then move on to talking about games we have recently played, with Archive telling us about Scythe, a game she didn’t really understand but thoroughly enjoyed! We go on to discuss Cthulhu Wars and the storage problems that Onslaught Three poses. We go on to other games including Epic Spell Wars, Smashup, and other games we have recently played or have expansions.
Please let us know what you think either here, at thecultofteaanddice@gmail.com, or @Cultteaanddice if you want to give us any Feedback, please also feel free to leave us reviews on Itunes
Episode 137
Finally our brave band of Knights (and one monk) know where their enemy lies, however they are first faced by the Facsimile Gautmaris and his men at arms. Can they fight their way through to reach the Blood Red Tower and stop Sedefkar from performing whatever dread ritual it is he intends?
Please let us know what you think either here, at thecultofteaanddice@gmail.com, or @Cultteaanddice if you want to give us any Feedback, please also feel free to leave us reviews on Itunes
The Music is Oppressive Gloom by by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
License
This Podcast is Explicit and contains Archive, death, destruction, sucking, terrifying statues, and a whole lot of edits!